[Neurons] 2012 Meta Reflections #25

[Michael Hall]

L. Michael Hall

Meta Reflections 2012  #25

May 7, 2012

Empowerment Series #12

 

 

THE POWER OF CONVERSATION

 

 

Among the most powerful things that you have available to yourself for
personal empowerment, one of the most powerful arises from, and is expressed
in, the conversations that you have with yourself and others.  This power
obviously arises from your power of language, to put into words your
thoughts, your feelings, your requests, your hopes and dreams, you fears and
dreads.  Yet it is more.

 

Conversation is how you relate to people (including yourself), it is your
primary way of constructing meaning, it is how you do most of what you do in
your work or career, and it is how you make your evaluations and assessments
about your values.  Pretty important, wouldn't you say?  Conversation even
describes how you think.  You talk to yourself, you have inner dialogues
with yourself as you wonder, consider, brainstorm, attribute meaning,
evaluate, and many, many more things.  In fact, all of this is because you
are a conversation.

 

Now if you are a leader, your leadership is mostly manifested in the
conversations that you are able to have with people.  That is, to be a
leader, you conduct leadership conversations, conversations that lead
people's minds and emotions.  Given this, we can ask:

           What conversations do you carry on with people?

           What conversations do you initiate?

           What conversations do you want to have, but do not?

           What conversations do you need to have, but hold yourself back
from?

           What conversations do you wish others would initiate with you?

 

Saying words is one thing.  It is an entirely other thing to be able to
engage another person (or a group of people) and carry on an exchange of
thoughts, ideas, dreams, etc.   That's a much more complex and important
skill.  Why is that?  Because to facilitate a conversation means listening
as well as talking.  In fact, your listening skill determines the quality of
your talking skills.  That is, if you are not intensely listening with
active presence to the person (or persons), your talk will not be very
effective.  Afterwards, someone may ask you, "What were you listening to
that you asked what you did?"

 

In Neuro-Semantics' Meta-Coaching we have 7 kinds of conversations that
define the area of Coaching someone to unleash one's highest meanings and
best performances.  The reason for this is to know the kind of conversations
that are possible to have with someone and what kind of conversation you are
actually having with a person.  The following seven kinds provides a way to
think about the kinds of conversations that someone can initiate and
facilitate.  In Meta-Coaching, you learn how to have these kinds of
conversations.

            Clarity -         To clearly understand oneself, another, what's
needed, what to do, what to choose.

            Decision -      To make a well-informed and smart decision so
one will not regret later.

            Planning -     To make a plan (map, blueprint, map-map,
strategy, etc.) of what to do and how to get there.

            Experience - To experience something that adds to a person's
resources that increases a person's capability to take effective action in
making a plan come true.

            Change -       To alter a set of actions, beliefs, decisions,
identity, intention, paradigm, etc.  To grow or transform in some way.

            Confrontation  To bring up something crucially important to
someone which may be unpleasant and unwelcomed and to do so in a way that
will enable the participants to talk it through to some resolution. 

            Mediation -   To facilitate two or more persons working through
a conflict and finding some win/win resolution.

 

When you are able to initiate and facilitate a particular kind of
conversation- you are able to do something that you otherwise would not be
able to do.  And when you do, you create a particular kind of relationship
with someone.

           How do you manage in an organization?  You engage people in a
managerial conversation so that they understand what to do, why to do it,
how to do it, and you can then have an evaluation conversation as you assess
the results together.

           How do you lead the minds and hearts of people?  You engage in a
visionary conversation of hopes and dreams, or a challenging conversation of
present day problems that will get worse if not addressed.  You engage in a
framing conversation that sets the frames for defining the problem and
suggesting possible solutions. 

           How do you sell someone on something that may resolve problems
and offer valued solutions?  You engage in a needs analysis conversation to
discuss needs and hopes and potential solutions.

           How do you support someone so that they are empowered to unleash
more of their potentials?  You engage in a valued conversation about what's
important to that person or some difficult challenge that the person wants
to deal with.

 

If this is the year for you to become more masterful in your conversations-
sign up for one or more of the modules of Meta-Coaching.  Based on the NLP
Communication Model (Module I) and the Meta-States Reflexivity Communication
Model (Module II), you'll learn about and get to practice the Seven
Conversations.  In 2012 we have hundreds of trainings in Module I and II and
seven in Module III (Coaching Mastery), for details see
<http://www.neurosemantics.com/> www.neurosemantics.com and
<http://www.meta-coaching.org./> www.meta-coaching.org. 

[You can find the Seven Kinds of Conversations in Coaching Conversations
(2011)]




 

 

L.  Michael Hall, Ph.D.

Neuro-Semantics Executive Director  ----   <http://www.neurosemantics.com/>
www.neurosemantics.com

P.O. Box 8

Clifton, CO.  81520 USA                              

1 970-523-7877                                               

     

What is Neuro-Semantic NLP?   Get your free subscription to "Neurons" ---
the weekly International  Newsletter of Neuro-Semantics.  Subscribe at
<http://www.neurosemantics.com/> www.neurosemantics.com.   Dr. Hall sends
out  Meta Reflections  every Monday (Colorado time).  Trainers' Reflections
occur  on Tuesdays and Meta-Coach Reflections on  Wednesdays.   Contact Dr.
Hall at   <mailto:meta at acsol.net> meta at acsol.net  

 

For world-class Coach Training --- see Meta-Coaching System at
<http://www.meta-coaching.org/> www.meta-coaching.org and at
<http://www.metacoachfoundation.org> www.metacoachfoundation.org  

 

Neuro-Semantics launched the New Human Potential Movement in 2007, for
information about the Self-Actualization workshops, go to
<http://www.self-actualizing.org/> www.self-actualizing.org

 

 

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